At least she realised it was a bad idea

I just had a really stupid idea. I wanted to dry my hair, but then the hair dryer would be louder than the TV so I wouldn't be able to hear it. I thought if I got my headphones and plugged them into the hair dryer I would be able to hear the TV. 

I don't think the tiny shorts would suit him

Did Hitler invent the Olympics?

She's getting better (Who runs this country again? Part two)

M - I don't want to be classed as an adult yet.




C - I'm an adult.



D - Do you know who the prime minister is now?




C - Oh, I know that one! David Cameron.




M - And the deputy?



C - Nick someone. No...Gordon Brown!




D - Oh, you were so close. 



M - Nick Clegg.




C - But isn't he the leader of the BNP?




M - That's Nick Griffin.




C - I thought the deputy was the leader of the Liberals though. So isn't that Gordon Brown?




Who runs this country again - Part 1

It happens to the best of us

C - Urgh, you bastard. 


M - What?


C - I was walking and I dribbled on myself. 

Head in their arse

(Whilst watching Midsommer Murders)


D - Seeing that injection in the neck is making my neck hurt. 


C - Why?


D - Because it's in his neck!


C - But that happens all the time. 


D - When?


C - Stargate. 


M - When did that happen?


C - Yesterday when they were drugged. 


M - That was in the arse. 


C - Arse, neck, close enough. 

It could be a long night

C - We're just waiting for Russell Howard to come on.



M - Oh yeah. What time is that on? Ten thirty?



C - No, half past.

Don't question it

M - Have you written down your password yet?


C - No, because I remember it at the moment



M - So you're going to wait until you forget it, then write it down?



C - When else would I write it down?

Blenders. They blend.

D - I have a liquidiser.


C - What does that do?


D - Make things into liquid.


C - Oh. Then why is it called a liquidiser?

Bricks. Also a random thing to have déjà vu about

C - What a strange thing to have déjà vu about.



M - What?



C - Dead old people.


M - I...what?


C - Well, it would be.


M - Yes...

No, in Pewter City

M - I joined a gym today.


C - What, in real life?

Oh dear. Just, oh dear.

Are there black midgets?