Doesn't everyone know who Dumbledore is?

(When watching Big Bang Theory, which included 'spoilers' about Harry Potter.)



TV - Oh, that's a good one. Dumbledore dies. Yeah, I didn't see it coming either.



M - I did.



D - Me too.



C - Which one was Dumbledore?

It's puzzling - Part 3

(When playing a puzzle game)



Oh my God, I have to make a cheese burger. How do I make a cheeseburger, M? What comes first? Oh my God, there's a bun. I have to put the burger in a bun. Oh this is complicated. Okay, burger then bun. NO. Bun, burger...cheese? Does a cheeseburger have cheese in it?




It's puzzing - Part 3



It's puzzling - Part 2



It's puzzling - Part 1

It's puzzling - Part 2

(When completing a puzzle game)



I don't get it. M, I don't get it. M. M? M, help me. M. M. M. Help me, M. M, stop laughing. M. M, stop it. M? I don't get it, what's so funny? M. M, look up the answer. M, HELP ME.





It's puzzing - Part 3



It's puzzling - Part 2



It's puzzling - Part 1

It's puzzling - part 1

(When playing a level on a puzzle game)



C - I don't get this puzzle.



M - The red goes with the red, the green goes with the green...



C - What about the blue?



M - It goes with the blue.



C - Oh! I did it! I'm a clever one, me.





It's puzzing - Part 3



It's puzzling - Part 2



It's puzzling - Part 1

Tastes like chicken

(During a meal)



C - My face tastes weird.



A - Why are you tasting your face?



C - Because it tastes like my dinner.



D - Then didn't your dinner taste weird?



C - Yeah. That might be it.

The logic is sound

(During an episode of Stargate SG-1. The characters are trapped in an area about to flood, and the Stargate, their way home, will not open.)



TV - This place is going to flood in 48 hours!



C - Why don't they just float?



M - What?



C - People float, right? Why don't they just wait for it to flood, then float through the Stargate when it opens?

For the sake of anonymity, we shall leave this open to interpretation

I'm over 21, aren't I?

Cause of death - biscuit lung

M - *Chokes on some biscuit crumbs*



C - What happens when you breathe in crumbs or drink? Does it, like, stay there forever until you run out of space?

I'm Spartacus

(Completely at random)



C - Is there more than one Mecca?



M - No.



C - Really?



D - I...what? I don't even know how to reply to that.



C - What? It would be confusing, wouldn't it? "I'm praying to Mecca", "no you're not, it's the other way", "but it's this way too". See? Confusing.

He's only done it for years. It's got to be simple

(After watching a master of sleight of hand climb from one moving car from another to perform a trick)



That's not difficult. Anyone could jump across a moving car.

The Complete Return of Chronicles of Breadmix

(Some of the breadmix has been used. The remainders are being used to make bread rolls)



C - I used a third of the breadmix last time. How much water do I need?



D - (weighs the mix) You used half of it last time.



C - No. I used 250g of it.



D - It's a 500g bag. Half of 500 is 250.



C - So how much water do I need?



D - Half of the amount in the instructions.



C - But I don't like reading instructions.



D - I can tell.




(After mixing the dough together)



C - How do I mix this like bread?



D - You knead it.



C - How do I knead?



D - I thought I told you. How did you mix this bread up last time?



C - I just hit it a lot.



(D demonstrates kneading)



C - I can do this now.



(During the second kneading session)



C - How do I knead again?




(The dough is kneaded and rested)



C - D, how many bread rolls can this make?



D - See how many the instructions say, and half it.



C - I don't like instructions. It says 10 or 12. I don't know which.



D - So it can make 5 or 6 rolls.



C - How do you know that?



D - It's half of 10 and 12.




(The bread rolls have been left to rise for 40 minutes)



C - Now what?



D - Put them in the oven.



C - For how long?



D - Didn't we have this conversation last time? Read the instructions. 



(The bread rolls were put in the oven and checked on every five minutes)





(The rolls are being stared at)



C - Do I need to turn them over?



D - No.



C - I'm going to turn them over.



D - You really don't need to. 



C - Why not?



D - Do you turn over cakes?



C - I could do if I wanted to.



(She did turn over every roll)



The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The return of  chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The return of the chronicles of bread mix - part 1


The original chronicles of bread mix

The Return of Chronicles of Breadmix - Part 5

(The rolls are being stared at)



C - Do I need to turn them over?



D - No.



C - I'm going to turn them over.



D - You really don't need to. 



C - Why not?



D - Do you turn over cakes?



C - I could do if I wanted to.



(She did turn over every roll)




The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The return of  chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The return of the chronicles of bread mix - part 1


The original chronicles of bread mix

The Return of Chronicles of Breadmix - Part 4

(The bread rolls have been left to rise for 40 minutes)



C - Now what?



D - Put them in the oven.



C - For how long?



D - Didn't we have this conversation last time? Read the instructions. 



(The bread rolls were put in the oven and checked on every five minutes)




The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The return of  chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The return of the chronicles of bread mix - part 1


The original chronicles of bread mix

The Return of Chronicles of Breadmix - Part 3

(The dough is kneaded and rested)



C - D, how many bread rolls can this make?



D - See how many the instructions say, and half it.



C - I don't like instructions. It says 10 or 12. I don't know which.



D - So it can make 5 or 6 rolls.



C - How do you know that?



D - It's half of 10 and 12.




The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The return of  chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The return of the chronicles of bread mix - part 1


The original chronicles of bread mix

The Return of Chronicles of Breadmix - Part 2

(After mixing the dough together)



C - How do I mix this like bread?



D - You knead it.



C - How do I knead?



D - I thought I told you. How did you mix this bread up last time?



C - I just hit it a lot.



(D demonstrates kneading)



C - I can do this now.



(During the second kneading session)



C - How do I knead again?




The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The return of  chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The return of the chronicles of bread mix - part 1


The original chronicles of bread mix

The Return of Chronicles of Breadmix - Part 1

(Some of the breadmix has been used. The remainders are being used to make bread rolls)



C - I used a third of the breadmix last time. How much water do I need?



D - (weighs the mix) You used half of it last time.



C - No. I used 250g of it.



D - It's a 500g bag. Half of 500 is 250.



C - So how much water do I need?



D - Half of the amount in the instructions.



C - But I don't like reading instructions.



D - I can tell.




The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The return of  chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The return of the chronicles of bread mix - part 1


The original chronicles of bread mix

He is now called Steelman

(After the Man of Steel advert is shown in the cinema)



Oh. I thought this was a Superman advert. He looked just like Superman.

This is not the name you are looking for

(We spent the previous few minutes trying to remember the name of an actor in an advert. D and M thought it was Luke, but C was convinced it was something different)



C - Look, his name is Luke!



M - That was our argument though.



C - Yeah, and? I was right.

Now it's just a box

(Note - the company Virgin provide set top boxes which provides a television service)



C - We kept turning our Virgin box on and off. We tried plugging it into other TVs too. Then there was smoke, and it was on fire. It doesn't work any more.



D - I guess it is no longer a virgin box. That sounds like an STD.



C - (Laughs then stops) I don't get it.

Zombie Maude

(During an episode of The Simpsons - Flanders' house has been destroyed by a storm)



Flanders - Maude? Rod? Todd?



C - Is this before or after Maude dies?



M - She gets killed by a shirt gun.



C - Yeah. So is this before or after that?