The Complete Return of Chronicles of Breadmix

(Some of the breadmix has been used. The remainders are being used to make bread rolls)



C - I used a third of the breadmix last time. How much water do I need?



D - (weighs the mix) You used half of it last time.



C - No. I used 250g of it.



D - It's a 500g bag. Half of 500 is 250.



C - So how much water do I need?



D - Half of the amount in the instructions.



C - But I don't like reading instructions.



D - I can tell.




(After mixing the dough together)



C - How do I mix this like bread?



D - You knead it.



C - How do I knead?



D - I thought I told you. How did you mix this bread up last time?



C - I just hit it a lot.



(D demonstrates kneading)



C - I can do this now.



(During the second kneading session)



C - How do I knead again?




(The dough is kneaded and rested)



C - D, how many bread rolls can this make?



D - See how many the instructions say, and half it.



C - I don't like instructions. It says 10 or 12. I don't know which.



D - So it can make 5 or 6 rolls.



C - How do you know that?



D - It's half of 10 and 12.




(The bread rolls have been left to rise for 40 minutes)



C - Now what?



D - Put them in the oven.



C - For how long?



D - Didn't we have this conversation last time? Read the instructions. 



(The bread rolls were put in the oven and checked on every five minutes)





(The rolls are being stared at)



C - Do I need to turn them over?



D - No.



C - I'm going to turn them over.



D - You really don't need to. 



C - Why not?



D - Do you turn over cakes?



C - I could do if I wanted to.



(She did turn over every roll)



The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The return of  chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The return of the chronicles of bread mix - part 1


The original chronicles of bread mix

The Return of Chronicles of Breadmix - Part 5

(The rolls are being stared at)



C - Do I need to turn them over?



D - No.



C - I'm going to turn them over.



D - You really don't need to. 



C - Why not?



D - Do you turn over cakes?



C - I could do if I wanted to.



(She did turn over every roll)




The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The return of  chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The return of the chronicles of bread mix - part 1


The original chronicles of bread mix

The Return of Chronicles of Breadmix - Part 4

(The bread rolls have been left to rise for 40 minutes)



C - Now what?



D - Put them in the oven.



C - For how long?



D - Didn't we have this conversation last time? Read the instructions. 



(The bread rolls were put in the oven and checked on every five minutes)




The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The return of  chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The return of the chronicles of bread mix - part 1


The original chronicles of bread mix

The Return of Chronicles of Breadmix - Part 3

(The dough is kneaded and rested)



C - D, how many bread rolls can this make?



D - See how many the instructions say, and half it.



C - I don't like instructions. It says 10 or 12. I don't know which.



D - So it can make 5 or 6 rolls.



C - How do you know that?



D - It's half of 10 and 12.




The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The return of  chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The return of the chronicles of bread mix - part 1


The original chronicles of bread mix

The Return of Chronicles of Breadmix - Part 2

(After mixing the dough together)



C - How do I mix this like bread?



D - You knead it.



C - How do I knead?



D - I thought I told you. How did you mix this bread up last time?



C - I just hit it a lot.



(D demonstrates kneading)



C - I can do this now.



(During the second kneading session)



C - How do I knead again?




The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The return of  chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The return of the chronicles of bread mix - part 1


The original chronicles of bread mix

The Return of Chronicles of Breadmix - Part 1

(Some of the breadmix has been used. The remainders are being used to make bread rolls)



C - I used a third of the breadmix last time. How much water do I need?



D - (weighs the mix) You used half of it last time.



C - No. I used 250g of it.



D - It's a 500g bag. Half of 500 is 250.



C - So how much water do I need?



D - Half of the amount in the instructions.



C - But I don't like reading instructions.



D - I can tell.




The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The return of chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The return of  chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The return of the chronicles of bread mix - part 1


The original chronicles of bread mix

He is now called Steelman

(After the Man of Steel advert is shown in the cinema)



Oh. I thought this was a Superman advert. He looked just like Superman.

This is not the name you are looking for

(We spent the previous few minutes trying to remember the name of an actor in an advert. D and M thought it was Luke, but C was convinced it was something different)



C - Look, his name is Luke!



M - That was our argument though.



C - Yeah, and? I was right.

Now it's just a box

(Note - the company Virgin provide set top boxes which provides a television service)



C - We kept turning our Virgin box on and off. We tried plugging it into other TVs too. Then there was smoke, and it was on fire. It doesn't work any more.



D - I guess it is no longer a virgin box. That sounds like an STD.



C - (Laughs then stops) I don't get it.

Zombie Maude

(During an episode of The Simpsons - Flanders' house has been destroyed by a storm)



Flanders - Maude? Rod? Todd?



C - Is this before or after Maude dies?



M - She gets killed by a shirt gun.



C - Yeah. So is this before or after that?

I believe there may be another reason

(During an advert for the film 'The Lone Ranger')



That guy looks nothing like Zorro. Did they change the actor?

Or a huge coincidence

(After seeing an advert for Ben and Jerry's ice cream, advertising 'core' ice creams, which come in varying flavours, including Karamel Sutra)



Karamel Sutra. That sounds like Karma Sutra. That sex thing. Is it supposed to?

We do not condone tranquillising students

(During an episode of Community, a student is shot with a tranquilliser dart by a teacher, Betty White, who is using a blow pipe.)



Woah. Are you allowed to shoot students in America? 

And archeology is the study of arches

Anthropology is the study of ants, right?

And prom queens aren't really promenades

(When watching an episode of Community)



C - Transqueen? What's that?



M - It's a joke. Instead of a prom queen, they are queens of the transfer dance. The dance for the students who are leaving to transfer to another school.



C - I get the joke. But why are they being called 'trannies'?



M - They aren't. It's a joke.



C - I get it. But she looks like a real woman.

Soon out coming it will be

C - What does coming soon mean?



M - It means that film will be coming out. Soon.



C - But what does it mean?

People die when they are killed. Still

(When watching television)



TV - Unfortunately, we had a family bereavement and were unable to complete the work.



C - What does that mean?



M - Someone died.



C - So someone is dead?

The Complete Chronicles of Breadmix

(When making bread from a packet - just add water)



C - D, how do I make this bread?



D - Follow the instructions.



C - But I don't understand. What does dough look like?



D - Like Play-Doh. Beige Play-Doh.



C - I don't know how.



D - Use your hands to make the bread mix and water into a mixture.



C - But I don't want to use my hands. 

(Still mixing up an instant bread mix)

C - What do I do now?

D - What does the next instruction say?

C - Leave to rest in a warm area.

D - Then do that.

C - But I don't need to rest. 




(When making up garlic butter to go on the bread)



C - How do I make garlic butter?



D - Mix garlic with butter.



C - How?



D - Put your garlic in your butter.



C - Do I need to do something with the garlic?



D - Cut it up?




(The garlic butter is made, and the bread is ready to go in the oven)



C - What do I do now?



D - What does it say to do now?



C - Bake for ten to fifteen minutes.



D - Then put it in the oven. And leave it there for ten to fifteen minutes.




(The bread has left the oven, and looks edible)



D - That smells really strong. How much garlic did you use?



C - All of it.



D - A whole clove?



C - Yeah.



D - What are you going to do with the rest?



C - I don't have any left.



D - But you bought a whole bulb, didn't you?



C - Yeah.



(She ate all of it, regardless.)




The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The complete original chronicles of bread mix


The chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The chronicles of bread mix - part 1

Chronicles of Breadmix - Part 5

(The bread has left the oven, and looks edible)



D - That smells really strong. How much garlic did you use?



C - All of it.



D - A whole clove?



C - Yeah.



D - What are you going to do with the rest?



C - I don't have any left.



D - But you bought a whole bulb, didn't you?



C - Yeah.



(She ate all of it, regardless.)



The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The complete original chronicles of bread mix


The chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The chronicles of bread mix - part 1

Chronicles of Breadmix - Part 4

(The garlic butter is made, and the bread is ready to go in the oven)



C - What do I do now?



D - What does it say to do now?



C - Bake for ten to fifteen minutes.



D - Then put it in the oven. And leave it there for ten to fifteen minutes.



The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The complete original chronicles of bread mix


The chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The chronicles of bread mix - part 1