We do not condone tranquillising students

(During an episode of Community, a student is shot with a tranquilliser dart by a teacher, Betty White, who is using a blow pipe.)



Woah. Are you allowed to shoot students in America? 

And archeology is the study of arches

Anthropology is the study of ants, right?

And prom queens aren't really promenades

(When watching an episode of Community)



C - Transqueen? What's that?



M - It's a joke. Instead of a prom queen, they are queens of the transfer dance. The dance for the students who are leaving to transfer to another school.



C - I get the joke. But why are they being called 'trannies'?



M - They aren't. It's a joke.



C - I get it. But she looks like a real woman.

Soon out coming it will be

C - What does coming soon mean?



M - It means that film will be coming out. Soon.



C - But what does it mean?

People die when they are killed. Still

(When watching television)



TV - Unfortunately, we had a family bereavement and were unable to complete the work.



C - What does that mean?



M - Someone died.



C - So someone is dead?

The Complete Chronicles of Breadmix

(When making bread from a packet - just add water)



C - D, how do I make this bread?



D - Follow the instructions.



C - But I don't understand. What does dough look like?



D - Like Play-Doh. Beige Play-Doh.



C - I don't know how.



D - Use your hands to make the bread mix and water into a mixture.



C - But I don't want to use my hands. 

(Still mixing up an instant bread mix)

C - What do I do now?

D - What does the next instruction say?

C - Leave to rest in a warm area.

D - Then do that.

C - But I don't need to rest. 




(When making up garlic butter to go on the bread)



C - How do I make garlic butter?



D - Mix garlic with butter.



C - How?



D - Put your garlic in your butter.



C - Do I need to do something with the garlic?



D - Cut it up?




(The garlic butter is made, and the bread is ready to go in the oven)



C - What do I do now?



D - What does it say to do now?



C - Bake for ten to fifteen minutes.



D - Then put it in the oven. And leave it there for ten to fifteen minutes.




(The bread has left the oven, and looks edible)



D - That smells really strong. How much garlic did you use?



C - All of it.



D - A whole clove?



C - Yeah.



D - What are you going to do with the rest?



C - I don't have any left.



D - But you bought a whole bulb, didn't you?



C - Yeah.



(She ate all of it, regardless.)




The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The complete original chronicles of bread mix


The chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The chronicles of bread mix - part 1

Chronicles of Breadmix - Part 5

(The bread has left the oven, and looks edible)



D - That smells really strong. How much garlic did you use?



C - All of it.



D - A whole clove?



C - Yeah.



D - What are you going to do with the rest?



C - I don't have any left.



D - But you bought a whole bulb, didn't you?



C - Yeah.



(She ate all of it, regardless.)



The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The complete original chronicles of bread mix


The chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The chronicles of bread mix - part 1

Chronicles of Breadmix - Part 4

(The garlic butter is made, and the bread is ready to go in the oven)



C - What do I do now?



D - What does it say to do now?



C - Bake for ten to fifteen minutes.



D - Then put it in the oven. And leave it there for ten to fifteen minutes.



The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The complete original chronicles of bread mix


The chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The chronicles of bread mix - part 1

Chronicles of Breadmix - Part 3

(When making up garlic butter to go on the bread)



C - How do I make garlic butter?



D - Mix garlic with butter.



C - How?



D - Put your garlic in your butter.



C - Do I need to do something with the garlic?



D - Cut it up?



The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The complete original chronicles of bread mix


The chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The chronicles of bread mix - part 1

The Chronicles of Breadmix - Part 2

(Still mixing up an instant bread mix)

C - What do I do now?

D - What does the next instruction say?

C - Leave to rest in a warm area.

D - Then do that.

C - But I don't need to rest. 



The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The complete original chronicles of bread mix


The chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The chronicles of bread mix - part 1

The Chronicles of Breadmix - Part 1

(When making bread from a packet - just add water)



C - D, how do I make this bread?



D - Follow the instructions.



C - But I don't understand. What does dough look like?



D - Like Play-Doh. Beige Play-Doh.



C - I don't know how.



D - Use your hands to make the bread mix and water into a mixture.



C - But I don't want to use my hands. 



The complete return of the chronicles of breadmix


The complete original chronicles of bread mix


The chronicles of bread mix - part 5


The chronicles of bread mix - part 4


The chronicles of bread mix - part 3


The chronicles of bread mix - part 2


The chronicles of bread mix - part 1

There comes a point when it is just easier to agree

C - Is rice good for you?



D - (Jokingly) Nah, it's loaded with saturated fat.



C - Oh yeah. It's only brown rice that's good for you.



D - I was joking. Rice isn't full of saturated fat.



C - Now you're joking, right?

Or put an egg in the oven until golden brown

Hard boiled eggs. Are they meant to be, like, boiled?

Curry is secretly Italian, so that works out

Parmesan is Indian, right? So I can put it on my curry.

Killed in the Vietnam

(When talking about countries)



C - Top Gear did a challenge in Vietnam, didn't they?



D - Yes. That was the tasteless "Born in the USA" one.



C - It wasn't that bad.



D - It kinda was. Mocking them with a song about the USA as they drove along.




C - That's the point. They production team wanted them to get killed.




(She wasn't joking. She thinks the Top Gear team are expendable.)

New York? That's in Amsterdam

(Whilst watching 5 Minutes to a Fortune - Globe Trotter round. An airport is shown and the country needs to be given in response.)



C - Calcutta? That's in America.



C - Leonardo da Vinci? That's in Rome.



D - Rome isn't a country.



C - Oh. Venice?

This confuses me

(When eating dinner)



C - What's garlic bread made out of?



D - When we make it: crushed garlic, butter, a few chillies...



C - No no, I mean, what's it made of?



D - Garlic and bread?



C - Oh, okay *continues eating*.

Attack bees could be useful though

(After reading about anti-rape bras - they shock attackers when needed)



D - They have the anti-rape devices that are used like tampons. The hooks catch when the man pulls back.



H - They got the idea from cat claws.



C - Bees rape cats.



M - What?!



(After a few minutes of hysterical laughter, C explains)



C - I read that bees rape other bees. Why was that so funny?

A little younger than Southern Freeman

How old is Northern Freeman?

It could have been a tortoise, I guess

(When watching TV)


C - What's that?



M - That's a rock.