Close your eyes. Tell me what you see.

(When playing a catchphrase game.)




C - What do I have to do?





M - Say what you see.





C - Like, in the picture.





M - Well, yes.

It would reduce the overpopulation problem

C - Why don't all women have the implant to stop them having babies and periods?





D - There are side effects. And there would be no more children.





C - Why?

It's, like, common knowledge

(When watching the quiz show The Chase.)




Presenter - How many people are in a trio?




C - 2




Presenter - 3




C - Oh.




Presenter - Where is Venice?




C - France





Presenter - Which of these whales is known as the sea canary because of its singing? Beluga, Blue or Basking?





C - Beluga.





Contestant - Blue?




C - Oh my god, how can she not know that? God

It could mean 'thumped out'. Or 'tocked out'.

(During an episode of Stargate SG:1.)



C - Woah. That guy was TO-ed!



M - TO-ed?



C - Knocked out. TO-ed.



M - It's KO-ed.



C - Why?

People still die when they are killed

(During an episode of Stargate SG:1)



They are human, right? So when they die, they're dead?

Real bodies would attract crows, right?

Do not read this post if you do not like violence or gore. Skip to the ones below.




(When watching a documentary about Vlad the Impaler. He is said to be the man Bram Stoker's Dracula is based on. He killed people by impaling them on large wooden stakes, and then raising the poles to display the bodies. Most people were killed by their own weight forcing the poles further in when they were displayed. One instance created a 'forest of bodies' to scare away an invading army.)




M - I wonder if this is where scarecrows came from.




(We would all be intrigued to know.)

No matter how many times I speak, I speak in the same times

(When discussing sleeping patterns.)



D - No matter what time I go to sleep, and what time I wake up, I always go to sleep at about 3am.



M - What?



D - I got every sentence I had planned in my head, and merged them into one.

They could have had a 3D three

(We're all watching Catchphrase and competing against each other. A clue appears on the screen with the letters "dDD". The camera angle moves to show they are three dimensional.)



A - 3D!



(D and M both realise this at the same time, and nod their agreement. C looks confused.)



C - I don't get it.



A - There are three 'd's. And they are three dimensional.



C - But why are there three 'd's? And why is one small and two big?



D - It's just to make it more complex. And probably to stop someone from saying 'triple D'.



C - Oh. I still don't get it.

And on a larger scale, the USA is part of Europe. And Europe is part of the Soviet Union. And the Soviet Union is part of Australia.

C - Where is Antigua?

D - The Caribbean. So on a larger scale - near Mexico.

C - Oh. So it's a part of the USA.

It's a horrible STD

(When watching Catchphrase.)



Blue blood! That's from the royal family, right? They all had sex together and it made their blood turn blue.



(Blue blooded was the answer.)