My flatmate, who isn't known for being world-wise, has a habit of saying things without questioning what is being said. These are one-liners, conversations and guest posts from readers.
Wednesday, 30 October 2013
At least she realised it was a bad idea
I just had a really stupid idea. I wanted to dry my hair, but then the hair dryer would be louder than the TV so I wouldn't be able to hear it. I thought if I got my headphones and plugged them into the hair dryer I would be able to hear the TV.
Sunday, 27 October 2013
Thursday, 24 October 2013
She's getting better (Who runs this country again? Part two)
M - I don't want to be classed as an adult yet.
C - I'm an adult.
D - Do you know who the prime minister is now?
C - Oh, I know that one! David Cameron.
M - And the deputy?
C - Nick someone. No...Gordon Brown!
D - Oh, you were so close.
M - Nick Clegg.
C - But isn't he the leader of the BNP?
M - That's Nick Griffin.
C - I thought the deputy was the leader of the Liberals though. So isn't that Gordon Brown?
Who runs this country again - Part 1
C - I'm an adult.
D - Do you know who the prime minister is now?
C - Oh, I know that one! David Cameron.
M - And the deputy?
C - Nick someone. No...Gordon Brown!
D - Oh, you were so close.
M - Nick Clegg.
C - But isn't he the leader of the BNP?
M - That's Nick Griffin.
C - I thought the deputy was the leader of the Liberals though. So isn't that Gordon Brown?
Who runs this country again - Part 1
Monday, 21 October 2013
It happens to the best of us
C - Urgh, you bastard.
M - What?
C - I was walking and I dribbled on myself.
M - What?
C - I was walking and I dribbled on myself.
Saturday, 19 October 2013
Head in their arse
(Whilst watching Midsommer Murders)
D - Seeing that injection in the neck is making my neck hurt.
C - Why?
D - Because it's in his neck!
C - But that happens all the time.
D - When?
C - Stargate.
M - When did that happen?
C - Yesterday when they were drugged.
M - That was in the arse.
C - Arse, neck, close enough.
D - Seeing that injection in the neck is making my neck hurt.
C - Why?
D - Because it's in his neck!
C - But that happens all the time.
D - When?
C - Stargate.
M - When did that happen?
C - Yesterday when they were drugged.
M - That was in the arse.
C - Arse, neck, close enough.
Wednesday, 16 October 2013
It could be a long night
C - We're just waiting for Russell Howard to come on.
M - Oh yeah. What time is that on? Ten thirty?
C - No, half past.
M - Oh yeah. What time is that on? Ten thirty?
C - No, half past.
Sunday, 13 October 2013
Don't question it
M - Have you written down your password yet?
C - No, because I remember it at the moment
M - So you're going to wait until you forget it, then write it down?
C - When else would I write it down?
C - No, because I remember it at the moment
M - So you're going to wait until you forget it, then write it down?
C - When else would I write it down?
Thursday, 10 October 2013
Blenders. They blend.
D - I have a liquidiser.
C - What does that do?
D - Make things into liquid.
C - Oh. Then why is it called a liquidiser?
C - What does that do?
D - Make things into liquid.
C - Oh. Then why is it called a liquidiser?
Monday, 7 October 2013
Bricks. Also a random thing to have déjà vu about
C - What a strange thing to have déjà vu about.
M - What?
C - Dead old people.
M - I...what?
C - Well, it would be.
M - Yes...
M - What?
C - Dead old people.
M - I...what?
C - Well, it would be.
M - Yes...
Friday, 4 October 2013
Tuesday, 1 October 2013
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