Zoophilia - still illegal

(Watching the BBC News)


D - That's the horse you have to pay £100 000 to have sex with.



C - You what? You pay 100k to have sex with a horse?



D - Yes, you want to breed a good racer.



C - Oh! I thought you meant humans could have sex with the horse!

I believe that is illegal

(Singing along to the Red Dwarf theme)


I want to lie, shipwrecked and comatose

Drinking fresh, mangled Jews

How hard can it be?

(When reading about a prison break in a newspaper)


We should, like, break into a high security base.

The North/South divide

(After the cooking of a meal)


D - When this cools down, could you decant it?


C - Wait what?


D - When this is cold, could you pour it into something else?


C - What was that long word you just used?


D - Decant?


C - Why not just say, like, empty and put into something else?


D - I thought I was saving time.


C - Don't use those long southern words! It's too complicated.

Like a snail (Africa part 2)

You know how people in Africa walk for days to find water? Why don't they, like, move their houses to water and just live by it?


Walking off a continent (Africa part 1)

Walking off a continent (Africa part 1)

I don't get it. Why don't the people in Africa just, like walk out? They walk a lot for water, so they could just, like, keep walking.


Like a snail (Africa part 2)

To fridge, or not to fridge

D - Does anyone like plain digestives? I have a couple here, and I don't like them.


M - I like them.


C - Me too. Put them in the fridge.


D - They are plain digestives.


C - Yeah?


D - There's nothing that needs to be kept cold.


C - What? Put them in the...fine, keep them on the side.



The great debate - do you store your biscuits in the fridge, or in a cupboard?

Like the name, not the flavour

D - Do you want some chocolate?


C - What type?


D - Dark.


C - Sure.


*Takes a piece of chocolate*


C - Urgh. I don't like dark chocolate.

Stop drop and burn

You know when you stop drop and roll? What happens if you roll into the fire?

Churchill - the most famous nazi

(During a film)


D - That actor looks just like the guy who played the head nazi in an Indianna Jones film.


C - Churchill?