This just in: nothing

(Watching the BBC news)


C - We watched this news an hour ago.


D - Yeah, nothing has really happened in the news today.


C - Oh my God, he said something different!


D - Well, yes, this is live.


C - I thought they recorded it in the morning and played it all day.

Mild cheddar and mature cheddar. Hilarious stuff.

(When researching holidays)


C - The easy walks take one to two hours, and the hard walks take four to five hours. That's funny.


D - Why is that funny?


C - Uhh, because they're different *rolls eyes*.

Saving water, one handwash at a time

(Bumping into the flatmate early in the morning)


D - ...did you wash your hands when you came out of the bathroom?


C - Why would I? I'm not eating anything yet.

The average human requires 6 sausages or sausage substitutions per day

How many sausages do normal people eat per day?

Guest post: It can talk too

A - I can't believe your dog can read.



B - It can't read.



A - But you said it could!



B - I was joking. I just didn't write the word 'walk' on Skype because the dog was there. It was a joke.



A - Oh. Are you sure?

There have been rumours...

Food is like, important to live, right?

I cannot think of anything witty

(When watching Red Dwarf)


This series is going to end on a coathanger, isn't it?


(Can anyone think of a more witty title for this?)

Home is where the heart is. But where is home? (Aliens part two)

(Whilst watching Stargate SG1)



So the alien's heart is down there? Where is a heart in a human?



So MIB was a lie? (Aliens part 1)

So MIB was a lie? (Aliens part one)

(Whilst watching Stargate SG1)



C - Those aren't real aliens!



M - No, C, they aren't. 



C - So they are just men in suits?



M - ...yes, C.



Home is where the heart is. But where is home? (Aliens part 2)

Fact is stranger than fiction

(During an episode of Terra Nova)


C - What's that?



M - A dragonfly.



C - They aren't real.



M - Yes they are. 



C - Dragons aren't real.



M - But dragonflies are. They are like butterflies.



C - Well I've never seen one.

The day after the third of July

What's the fourth of July?