D - Do you know who the prime minister is?
C - Obama.
D - No, he's the president in the US.
C - Oh. Tony Blair?
D - No, but he was A prime minister.
C - That Brown bloke. Gordon Brown.
D - Getting closer. Do you really not know who it is?
C - Nick Clegg?
D - He's the deputy.
C - Okay then. Who is it?
D - David Cameron.
C - Never heard of him.
Who runs this country again - Part 2 (available from October 24)
My flatmate, who isn't known for being world-wise, has a habit of saying things without questioning what is being said. These are one-liners, conversations and guest posts from readers.
Tuesday, 30 April 2013
Saturday, 27 April 2013
I'll race you
(When watching TV)
Ninja Warrior looks really easy. I bet I could do that before those guys could.
Ninja Warrior looks really easy. I bet I could do that before those guys could.
Wednesday, 24 April 2013
Guest post: It seems logical
What makes you think your tyre is going down? Is it because
there’s less air in it?
Want to see your flatmate's quote here? Submit to quotesfrommyflatmate@gmail.com
Sunday, 21 April 2013
Back in my day...
M - Christmas was cancelled for a while in history, you know.
C - Really? I never noticed. We always celebrated it at my house.
C - Really? I never noticed. We always celebrated it at my house.
Wednesday, 17 April 2013
I think it's just some
C - Is it illegal to sleep with animals?
M - Yes.
C - Really? All of them, or just some?
M - Yes.
C - Really? All of them, or just some?
Sunday, 14 April 2013
Thursday, 11 April 2013
As long as he doesn't let go
Michael Jackson hung one of his kids over a balcony. Which is a bad thing I presume.
Monday, 8 April 2013
Guest post - It's a circus
A - Have you seen the news recently?
B - No
A - Well, Thatcher died about 2 hours ago Also, a
circus had a mass death. Only 60 members of the troop survived.
B - How?
A - Cold weather. The circus master had to hurry to the
shops to get more members.
Cold weather is very harsh to a flea circus
B - I can imagine
A - I love how we skipped over Thatcher
B - It's sad, but that's about it. How many fleas died?
Want to see your flatmate's quote here? Submit to quotesfrommyflatmate@gmail.com
Friday, 5 April 2013
Tuesday, 2 April 2013
Richard the Third - dragon slayer
C - Richard the third? He's not real, you know
D - He was a king of England. Of course he's real.
C - Er...no he's not. Duh. He had a hunchback. They're not real.
(We explained what a hunchback is)
C - Well, fine. But he's still not real. He killed DRAGONS. Dragons aren't real.
D - He was a king of England. Of course he's real.
C - Er...no he's not. Duh. He had a hunchback. They're not real.
(We explained what a hunchback is)
C - Well, fine. But he's still not real. He killed DRAGONS. Dragons aren't real.
Monday, 1 April 2013
Guest post - Cotton mice do sound cute
A - I am boycotting cotton wool.
B - Why?
A - I think it's cruel to the mice.
B - What mice?
A - The mice they farm it from!
B - Where did you hear that?
A - My parents told me about it years ago.
B - Cotton wool doesn't come from mice.
A - Then where does it come from?
B - Cotton plants.
A - Pfft. Don't be stupid.
Want to see your flatmate's quote here? Submit to quotesfrommyflatmate@gmail.com
B - Why?
A - I think it's cruel to the mice.
B - What mice?
A - The mice they farm it from!
B - Where did you hear that?
A - My parents told me about it years ago.
B - Cotton wool doesn't come from mice.
A - Then where does it come from?
B - Cotton plants.
A - Pfft. Don't be stupid.
Want to see your flatmate's quote here? Submit to quotesfrommyflatmate@gmail.com
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